Happily ever after doesn’t mean perfect! 

Happily ever after doesn’t mean perfect! 

Im generally not a very trusting person , my motto for a long time was ‘trust no one till they give you a reason to’ 

That does not work well in relationships though as you have to open yourself up to let the other person in.Vulnerability is often a high price to pay especially if you have been burnt before. 

The reward though when you experience an amazing connection and fall in love is well worth it. Its a world  full of rainbows and butterflies one can only understand it through experience. 
The true test comes when life keeps throwing surprises at you. Sometimes they’re good which just goes to increase the love, but sometimes they’re bad. 
This is when your proclamations of love really count. When you’re character is put to test, how do you react when you’re struggling to pay bills? when you have to cut down on some luxuries?

Do you still experience the rainbows and butterflies when times are hard? That’s when ‘I will love you always, no matter what’ counts. 

What do you do when ‘no matter what’ comes sooner rather than later?Do you cut your losses and run for the hills? Even fairytales had their fair share of life surprises, evil witches and all that. 

Happily ever after isnt a perfect life without  problems, its about fighting  to keep the rainbows and butterflies even through the worst of storms. 

…………my two cents ……… 

Smiling over the issues… 

Smiling over the issues… 

I used to pity the couples we see in traffic, each person lost in their own thoughts, the only reason theyre in the same car is to follow some routine to drop the kids to school or for convenience to get a ride to work . .. 

There was a time they loved being in eachother ‘s company when there wasnt enough time for all the things they wanted to say…. Now theyre doesn’t seem to be enough words to pass all the time they have to spend together…. . 

I vowed id never put myself  in such a situation, I would rather be single talking to myself than in a relationship where we dnt say anything to eachother….pass the salt and pick the baby dnt count as conversation….

Its easier to judge and comment when your on the outside looking in though. Relationships take a lot of work. You have to show up everyday, remember what you love about eachother even when your not feeling it at that moment.. 

Its a slippery slope between love and hate, it starts with the small things, like not checking in on eachother during the day or talking about your day when you get home. Sayin sorry when your wrong or have hurt their feelings becomes too high a price for your pride to pay. You stop considering your partner when making plans and pretty soon your like roomates… 

Smiling over the issues in public barely noticing eachother in private.Staying together for the kids, or because you can’t afford to live on your own. .Settling because you dnt put in the work to keep your relationship real… 

Sit still look pretty… 

Sit still look pretty… 

The year is 2016, we live a global  village, information is at our fingers tips, people have been to the moon and back, technology is the norm to an extent where the possibilities of innovation are end less.. . Yet my being an intelligent, confident, self aware, assertive beautiful woman is for some people still unfathomable. 


Apparently its a mystery  how a girl  can do well  in school, in some instances  even better than the boys in her class. 

How the same girl grows into a smart woman who  excells at work relying only on her brains and not her long legs or pretty face. 

Im still shocked that half of America,  would rather vote in a candidate who unapologetically showed his ugly true  colours over a capable woman. Granted she had made some mistakes in the past, but dnt we all? ! 

My daughter excells at everything she does, like so many little girls her age. Girls are taking centre stage both in academics and extra curriculum activities… And i intend to continue encouraging and supporting her to do even better. 

I refuse to dumb myself down to stroke anyones ego. I refuse to tell my little girl she cnt do something she’s interested in because its supposed to be a preserve for boys.. 

Don’t get me wrong,  was i raising a boy, I would teach him the same values and expose him to the same opportunities. Most of all teach him to respect others abilities and not to judge them based on their gender , race,  religion,political affiliation or other demographic features. 

I am capable of too much to just sit and look pretty!Our daughters’, our sisters, our mothers are capable of too  much to just sit and look pretty. 

……….. ….. my two cents. .. … … 

Settling for less..when did it become okay?

Settling for less..when did it become okay?

Is it a casualty of the 21st century?Are we so busy now working 16 hour shifts,trying to keep up with the Morgan’s,splashing our ‘perfect’ lives on social media ,envying each other,judging each other ..that it has become okay to settle for whatever comes your way just to fit into some stereotype of what a successful, happy,person is supposed to be.

We have redefined success to be something that is measured by how much material wealth someone has, never mind the fact that for most its bought on credit and might very well be the reason your children do not go to college.

Relationships are now casual hookups to be walked in and out of whenever they stop fulfilling the short term goals they we’re set up for.Marriage is no longer a lifetime commitment,people are making vows they know full well they do not intend to keep.

The reasons for getting married have also done a complete turn around,if your a woman in her thirties then there is all this pressure to get married and have children because apparently some clock is ticking.So what if you haven’t met the right person yet?Do you just marry the first man who comes your way because the clock is ticking?

A young man with a good job,a car and a house is reminded constantly that he now has to find a wife and start a family.But do these pressure givers take the time to prepare him for marriage and  the responsibilities it comes with.We are so busy judging what people are doing and deciding how they should be doing it different,we forget the decisions we are forcing them to make will affect their lives forever.

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Is it really worth it,to look like you have the good life when in actual sense you are knee deep in debt?

Is it that important to be in a relationship that society approves of ,that we’re okay being in loveless marriages,some filled with all kinds of abuse.

What kind of blue print are we living for our children if we bring them up in a commercialized world,where everything is at face value and very few people love or at the very  least genuinely care for each other..

Nothing in this world is perfect,but that’s no excuse to settle for whatever the wind blows your way,especially if its going to define you for the rest of your life.

……………………………………….my two cents…………………………………..

 

 

 

 

 

 

The big Three O!

The big Three O!

Time flies is becoming more than an understatement,I turn 30 tomorrow and honestly it seems like my life has been moving in fast forward.I thought teachers we’re just being harsh when they said things would be very different once we left school.

Campus was a hoot though and for a while we created our own reality but that did not last forever.Graduation soon came and it was time to go deal with real life.But thirty was still far away and boy did I have plans,things I had to achieve or do by the time I turned thirty.

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First on the list was getting a good job,well it has been an up and down kind of ride but I’m finally working at a job i really enjoy and it can only get better.Second on the list was finding Mr.Right,I learned the hard way you can’t plan for this one.Believe me the frogs did not disappoint but I did meet my prince charming and I couldn’t be happier.

I was going to have two kids by the time I turned 28 but as fate would have it,this wasn’t an exact science either.I am the proud mummy of a beautiful brilliant little girl and we’re  working on the second born,watch this space 🙂

Looking back I don’t know what I was so afraid of about turning 30.I have grown up so much since my days of claiming I’d be 18 till i die. I now know life can’t fully be planned out and I don’t really sweat the small stuff.Instead I’m grateful for all I have,for the good and bad things that have happened to me,because they got me here.

So happy thirtieth birthday to me,can’t wait to see what the next phase of my life has to offer!

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……………………………my two cents………………………………………