Happily ever after doesn’t mean perfect! 

Happily ever after doesn’t mean perfect! 

Im generally not a very trusting person , my motto for a long time was ‘trust no one till they give you a reason to’ 

That does not work well in relationships though as you have to open yourself up to let the other person in.Vulnerability is often a high price to pay especially if you have been burnt before. 

The reward though when you experience an amazing connection and fall in love is well worth it. Its a world  full of rainbows and butterflies one can only understand it through experience. 
The true test comes when life keeps throwing surprises at you. Sometimes they’re good which just goes to increase the love, but sometimes they’re bad. 
This is when your proclamations of love really count. When you’re character is put to test, how do you react when you’re struggling to pay bills? when you have to cut down on some luxuries?

Do you still experience the rainbows and butterflies when times are hard? That’s when ‘I will love you always, no matter what’ counts. 

What do you do when ‘no matter what’ comes sooner rather than later?Do you cut your losses and run for the hills? Even fairytales had their fair share of life surprises, evil witches and all that. 

Happily ever after isnt a perfect life without  problems, its about fighting  to keep the rainbows and butterflies even through the worst of storms. 

…………my two cents ……… 

Gone…..

Gone…..

My head is still spinning from that conversation,I have been waking up thinking it was just my imagination running wild as usual …

Its been two weeks since you looked me in the eye and said we we’re no more…

That you did not see a future for us…I remember sitting there naively waiting to hear you out,

Happy that you finally wanted to talk,the thought of you ending things had never crossed my mind..

Sure we had some problems but which couple doesn’t?The recent financial pressure hadn’t been helping much..still I thought we were going to be fine.

We were in this for keeps,through good times and bad…

You’ve moved to a new city though and I moved to a new house,this is real..

I wake up everyday and go through the paces,my friends say I’m strong

I don’t see it though,my heart is crashed into tiny little pieces,

I don’t understand what happened,WHY it happened..

You seem like a stranger to me now and not the person who promised me forever,

All our dreams and plans for the future,gone ..

Your presence,your scent,gone…

I am left with memories that on most days I don’t know what to do with…

Was it real or make belief?

When did you decide we couldn’t work?

When did you decide you could live without me?

When will i get rid of this empty feeling you’ve left inside me?

Settling for less..when did it become okay?

Settling for less..when did it become okay?

Is it a casualty of the 21st century?Are we so busy now working 16 hour shifts,trying to keep up with the Morgan’s,splashing our ‘perfect’ lives on social media ,envying each other,judging each other ..that it has become okay to settle for whatever comes your way just to fit into some stereotype of what a successful, happy,person is supposed to be.

We have redefined success to be something that is measured by how much material wealth someone has, never mind the fact that for most its bought on credit and might very well be the reason your children do not go to college.

Relationships are now casual hookups to be walked in and out of whenever they stop fulfilling the short term goals they we’re set up for.Marriage is no longer a lifetime commitment,people are making vows they know full well they do not intend to keep.

The reasons for getting married have also done a complete turn around,if your a woman in her thirties then there is all this pressure to get married and have children because apparently some clock is ticking.So what if you haven’t met the right person yet?Do you just marry the first man who comes your way because the clock is ticking?

A young man with a good job,a car and a house is reminded constantly that he now has to find a wife and start a family.But do these pressure givers take the time to prepare him for marriage and  the responsibilities it comes with.We are so busy judging what people are doing and deciding how they should be doing it different,we forget the decisions we are forcing them to make will affect their lives forever.

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Is it really worth it,to look like you have the good life when in actual sense you are knee deep in debt?

Is it that important to be in a relationship that society approves of ,that we’re okay being in loveless marriages,some filled with all kinds of abuse.

What kind of blue print are we living for our children if we bring them up in a commercialized world,where everything is at face value and very few people love or at the very  least genuinely care for each other..

Nothing in this world is perfect,but that’s no excuse to settle for whatever the wind blows your way,especially if its going to define you for the rest of your life.

……………………………………….my two cents…………………………………..

 

 

 

 

 

 

Striking a balance….

Striking a balance….

Sometimes it feels like no matter how hard I try am falling short,whether its at being a mum,a wife,a daughter,a sister or even at work.But falling short based on whose standards,mine?And if so should I then cut myself some slack or maintain them so that I’m always working towards being a better me.

If its not by my standards then should I break my back trying to live up to other peoples expectations?When we were kids I thought my mum was super woman,now that I’m older though I realize she was doing so much and dealing with her own issues as working mother and wife.

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There are these roles that are expected of both men and women either by society or just as a status quo we have come to except them.How realistic are they though?For instance,men are supposed to be the providers in their family.

In today’s world two income homes are becoming more common,how then does this affect the role of the man, if at all?I remember my dad making Sunday breakfast sometimes but that was a rare occurrence,talking from my own experience,I don’t know how I would survive if my husband didn’t help out with dinner or dishes every so often.

Does this make me any less of a wife or mother or him less of a man?I don’t think so!I love that my daughter will have numerous memories of making breakfast with her dad,doing school projects or sorting the laundry,so that mummy does not have to be up all night doing chores.

So to hell with people’s standards and expectations,I’ll go with what works for me and my family.I’ll  give myself a hard time every once in a while because I’m my own worst critic but I can handle me…

 

…… ……………………..my two cents……………………………………..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Friday photo thought;forever.

Friday photo thought;forever.

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Forever: such a simple word but packed with so much commitment,so much promise..

There is change in every wind,

The sands of time don’t know our name,

Nothing is sure but surely as we stand,

I promise I will the stay the same,

I have never seen forever,

But I know we’ll remain.

Credit;Some of the words are borrowed from Allesia Cara’s song ‘stone” off her album know it all.

My hands are tied…..

My hands are tied…..

I learnt the hard way not to settle for less, never to let a relationship define me to the point where I lose my identity.

It took heart break and a train wreck relationship to figure out that speaking my mind and demanding to be treated right was okay and it didn’t make me unlovable.

You saw me go through this and watched helplessly as I gave too much to someone who didn’t deserve it … and there was nothing you could do about it..
You we’re my refuge when i finally hit rock bottom and called it quits. As i struggled to find myself and regain my self confidence.

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And now here we are, you’re in the same situation, maybe even worse. And there’s nothing I can do but be there for you.

It hurts me that you gave your all and got a raw deal instead. I worry that you’re still in denial and seem confused about what to do next…

There’s only so much I can do, I listen when you vent, I point out where I think you’re being dupped but I can’t really make the tough decisions for you.

I’m praying for you though, for strength, for courage, for wisdom to do the right thing- for you, that you choose yourself and your happiness before all else…