This thing called love…

This thing called love…

It’s only human to want to be loved and to give love…I think there’s some science behind our being social beings or something like that.We can deny it,try to fight it or down play it but deep down we all want to be part of something that’s bigger than us,to have that special someone who makes us feel like we belong…

I had that,I actually went as far as calling it true love..he made me laugh,he protected me,he loved me,he was there for me whenever I need him…then in a split second it was all gone…

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At first its like your on auto pilot,just trying to get through one day at a time..then things settle down and you’re not so angry anymore,you’re all cried out,you go almost a week without thinking about him…you start to see clearly,you can honestly analyse what happened and reach an honest conclusion..

I remember after it happened just wishing it was a nightmare that i kept having night after night and eventually it would stop…

Wishing he would call and take it back and beg to come back…

One month,two months,three months down the line and I realize its true that time heals,I wasn’t sitting around waiting for him to call anymore.

I had started rediscovering myself,I was living,,then it hit me I can live without him…..Then he calls,and he says all those things I wished he would say …

Surprise surprise though,,I am not where I was when he ended things,I have decided I don’t want to be a part of something at any cost,I don’t want him back because now I don’t trust him,I am not sure what we had was true love because then it wouldn’t have been so easy to just walk away….

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Do i have moments of sadness,when I just look back and think we had it all…of course!I think when you spend enough time with someone they are left with a part of you forever..

Do i still want to be a part of something?to have that someone special? Of course..

But i’m okay for now,,I’m living vicariously through my favorite shows.,going for drinks with my girls,enjoying just being me.

I’m taking a beat,I find sometimes we rush into things and end up getting way more than we bargained for…

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Sometimes its okay to just be in the moment..

……………………………………………….my two cents………………………………….

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Single mum hating.. 

Single mum hating.. 

I’m so tired of people hating on single mom’s, like its something they choose.. We’re not out here having immaculate conceptions…

For every single mum out here there’s a father somewhere reneging on his responsibilities…

If only society could use all the energy they waste criticizing single mom’s to call out those men leaving children fatherless .

But NO.. You all are busy talking about how children raised by single mom’s are troubled, not well mannered and a bunch of other nonsense. How the boy child is falling behind because they are being raised by a single mum,, what do you want her to do?The person supposed to be teaching her son to be a man decided it was an optional job.. She’s doing the best she can, teaching him what she knows…

Don’t get me started on the ‘she couldn’t keep her man crap’  what is he, a pet ?! He is a living breathing grown up who made a decision not to be a part of his child’s life.Granted relationships don’t always work but being in your child’s life is something entirely different. This applies to mom’s too,if the father of your child is a good father then don’t keep him away from them just because the two of you didn’t work.

Fact-:parenting is hard even when there are two fully present parents, children from such families go astray too.. Lets stop blaming single mom’s for every wayward child in society.

Fact:- the boy child is falling behind because some men are not taking an active part in parenting, no one is teaching the boys  how to grow into responsible successful men.

Fact:- judging single mom’s isn’t helping the mother or their child with anything. It doesn’t pay bills or give them the support they so desperately need. All it does is cause undue stress to people trying to make the best out of the cards they’ve been dealt.

Fact:- There are brilliant, well mannered , intelligent children raised by single mom’s who go on to become successful up right members of society.

The big Three O!

The big Three O!

Time flies is becoming more than an understatement,I turn 30 tomorrow and honestly it seems like my life has been moving in fast forward.I thought teachers we’re just being harsh when they said things would be very different once we left school.

Campus was a hoot though and for a while we created our own reality but that did not last forever.Graduation soon came and it was time to go deal with real life.But thirty was still far away and boy did I have plans,things I had to achieve or do by the time I turned thirty.

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First on the list was getting a good job,well it has been an up and down kind of ride but I’m finally working at a job i really enjoy and it can only get better.Second on the list was finding Mr.Right,I learned the hard way you can’t plan for this one.Believe me the frogs did not disappoint but I did meet my prince charming and I couldn’t be happier.

I was going to have two kids by the time I turned 28 but as fate would have it,this wasn’t an exact science either.I am the proud mummy of a beautiful brilliant little girl and we’re  working on the second born,watch this space 🙂

Looking back I don’t know what I was so afraid of about turning 30.I have grown up so much since my days of claiming I’d be 18 till i die. I now know life can’t fully be planned out and I don’t really sweat the small stuff.Instead I’m grateful for all I have,for the good and bad things that have happened to me,because they got me here.

So happy thirtieth birthday to me,can’t wait to see what the next phase of my life has to offer!

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……………………………my two cents………………………………………