My head is still spinning from that conversation,I have been waking up thinking it was just my imagination running wild as usual …
Its been two weeks since you looked me in the eye and said we we’re no more…
That you did not see a future for us…I remember sitting there naively waiting to hear you out,
Happy that you finally wanted to talk,the thought of you ending things had never crossed my mind..
Sure we had some problems but which couple doesn’t?The recent financial pressure hadn’t been helping much..still I thought we were going to be fine.
We were in this for keeps,through good times and bad…
You’ve moved to a new city though and I moved to a new house,this is real..
I wake up everyday and go through the paces,my friends say I’m strong
I don’t see it though,my heart is crashed into tiny little pieces,
I don’t understand what happened,WHY it happened..
You seem like a stranger to me now and not the person who promised me forever,
All our dreams and plans for the future,gone ..
Your presence,your scent,gone…
I am left with memories that on most days I don’t know what to do with…
Was it real or make belief?
When did you decide we couldn’t work?
When did you decide you could live without me?
When will i get rid of this empty feeling you’ve left inside me?
I used to pity the couples we see in traffic, each person lost in their own thoughts, the only reason theyre in the same car is to follow some routine to drop the kids to school or for convenience to get a ride to work . ..
There was a time they loved being in eachother ‘s company when there wasnt enough time for all the things they wanted to say…. Now theyre doesn’t seem to be enough words to pass all the time they have to spend together…. .
I vowed id never put myself in such a situation, I would rather be single talking to myself than in a relationship where we dnt say anything to eachother….pass the salt and pick the baby dnt count as conversation….
Its easier to judge and comment when your on the outside looking in though. Relationships take a lot of work. You have to show up everyday, remember what you love about eachother even when your not feeling it at that moment..
Its a slippery slope between love and hate, it starts with the small things, like not checking in on eachother during the day or talking about your day when you get home. Sayin sorry when your wrong or have hurt their feelings becomes too high a price for your pride to pay. You stop considering your partner when making plans and pretty soon your like roomates…
Smiling over the issues in public barely noticing eachother in private.Staying together for the kids, or because you can’t afford to live on your own. .Settling because you dnt put in the work to keep your relationship real…
You courted her, proposed and finally before God and man vowed to be her provider and protecter, to respect, support and love her till death do you part.
Over the years you have broken all of these vows, you have rewarded the woman who stuck by you through good and bad times with nothing but pain and heart ache.
You say you love us, that we are your blood. Do you think we fell from the sky? Have you forgotten the person who bore you three children.. There is no us without her…
Granted relationships are hard and they dnt always work. Common decency dictates tho that you respect one another, have some decorum and keep your dirty laundry to yourself.
You say she’s brainwashed us and that she wants to turn us against you. But you did that all on your own when you not only left home but also checked out of our lives. The pop in and out dsnt count, we’re not a drive through. ..
You dnt get our unconditional loyalty to her, well let me simplify it for you. You left, she stayed!She has always been there for us, even when we dnt have anything to eat or money for bills. Never did she say one bad thing about you.
Then you want to act some type of way because we know the struggles she’s had to go through to raise us and wunt let you continue to disrespect and hurt her. ..
Why do you hate the woman who has kept your home since you walked out 20 years ago. ..
Why do you hate the woman who carried your three beautiful children..
Why do you hate the woman who insisted we have to respect you because no matter what you are our father….
The year is 2016, we live a global village, information is at our fingers tips, people have been to the moon and back, technology is the norm to an extent where the possibilities of innovation are end less.. . Yet my being an intelligent, confident, self aware, assertive beautiful woman is for some people still unfathomable.
How the same girl grows into a smart woman who excells at work relying only on her brains and not her long legs or pretty face.
Im still shocked that half of America, would rather vote in a candidate who unapologetically showed his ugly true colours over a capable woman. Granted she had made some mistakes in the past, but dnt we all? !
My daughter excells at everything she does, like so many little girls her age. Girls are taking centre stage both in academics and extra curriculum activities… And i intend to continue encouraging and supporting her to do even better.
I refuse to dumb myself down to stroke anyones ego. I refuse to tell my little girl she cnt do something she’s interested in because its supposed to be a preserve for boys..
Don’t get me wrong, was i raising a boy, I would teach him the same values and expose him to the same opportunities. Most of all teach him to respect others abilities and not to judge them based on their gender , race, religion,political affiliation or other demographic features.
I am capable of too much to just sit and look pretty!Our daughters’, our sisters, our mothers are capable of too much to just sit and look pretty.
……….. ….. my two cents. .. … …