My daughter’s birthday is usually an emotional time for me, it comes with soo many memories from when she was born to where we are now..
It sometimes seems surreal how fast time flies. Just the other day we we’re celebrating milestones like her first word, her first day at school.
Our conversations were based on her numerous why and how questions. Now they’re full of well thought out opinions and arguements.
I always write a post on her birthday but she does not get to read my posts, so she’ll never be privy to my thoughts.
Then I got to thinking the posts could be an awesome present for her one day.I could compile them and give them to her when she turns eighteen.
Growing up I dnt really have an open relationship with my mum, where we could talk about stuff .
That’s one of the things I work hard to cultivate with my daughter. That she will always be able to talk me,even when we get to the teenage drama.
Its humbling to see your child practising what you have taught her, to know that you are doing something right especially in today’s world where our kids are exposed to so much.
Her birthday is not only about her growth but about mine as well. There is no manual for parents, most of us are just trying our best and learning as we go.
So here’s to my princess as she turns ten and to me as i grow into a better and hopefully wiser mother.
It sounds simple enough in theory but practically its much more of a task. We all have a rough idea of how we would act in a certain situation, then when it actualy happens we behave in the exact opposite way.
Granted we’re human and sometimes emotions run high and things happen way faster than logic can handle.
I dnt know about you but Im my own worst critic and i usually perfom a post analysis when i lose my cool just to try and see how i could have acted different.
I wunt lie, some people make it difficult to even remember the high road exists. Iv been having too many of these moments lately especially at work and iv just decided enough is enough.
I wunt be that person who takes the bait and in the end looks like the bad guy. Some people dnt deserve you using so much energy just to prove your right. Thats what karma is for!
Sooner or later they will get what’s coming to them and you wont even have to lift a finger!
Is it a casualty of the 21st century?Are we so busy now working 16 hour shifts,trying to keep up with the Morgan’s,splashing our ‘perfect’ lives on social media ,envying each other,judging each other ..that it has become okay to settle for whatever comes your way just to fit into some stereotype of what a successful, happy,person is supposed to be.
We have redefined success to be something that is measured by how much material wealth someone has, never mind the fact that for most its bought on credit and might very well be the reason your children do not go to college.
Relationships are now casual hookups to be walked in and out of whenever they stop fulfilling the short term goals they we’re set up for.Marriage is no longer a lifetime commitment,people are making vows they know full well they do not intend to keep.
The reasons for getting married have also done a complete turn around,if your a woman in her thirties then there is all this pressure to get married and have children because apparently some clock is ticking.So what if you haven’t met the right person yet?Do you just marry the first man who comes your way because the clock is ticking?
A young man with a good job,a car and a house is reminded constantly that he now has to find a wife and start a family.But do these pressure givers take the time to prepare him for marriage and the responsibilities it comes with.We are so busy judging what people are doing and deciding how they should be doing it different,we forget the decisions we are forcing them to make will affect their lives forever.
Is it really worth it,to look like you have the good life when in actual sense you are knee deep in debt?
Is it that important to be in a relationship that society approves of ,that we’re okay being in loveless marriages,some filled with all kinds of abuse.
What kind of blue print are we living for our children if we bring them up in a commercialized world,where everything is at face value and very few people love or at the very least genuinely care for each other..
Nothing in this world is perfect,but that’s no excuse to settle for whatever the wind blows your way,especially if its going to define you for the rest of your life.
……………………………………….my two cents…………………………………..
Time flies is becoming more than an understatement,I turn 30 tomorrow and honestly it seems like my life has been moving in fast forward.I thought teachers we’re just being harsh when they said things would be very different once we left school.
Campus was a hoot though and for a while we created our own reality but that did not last forever.Graduation soon came and it was time to go deal with real life.But thirty was still far away and boy did I have plans,things I had to achieve or do by the time I turned thirty.
First on the list was getting a good job,well it has been an up and down kind of ride but I’m finally working at a job i really enjoy and it can only get better.Second on the list was finding Mr.Right,I learned the hard way you can’t plan for this one.Believe me the frogs did not disappoint but I did meet my prince charming and I couldn’t be happier.
I was going to have two kids by the time I turned 28 but as fate would have it,this wasn’t an exact science either.I am the proud mummy of a beautiful brilliant little girl and we’re working on the second born,watch this space 🙂
Looking back I don’t know what I was so afraid of about turning 30.I have grown up so much since my days of claiming I’d be 18 till i die. I now know life can’t fully be planned out and I don’t really sweat the small stuff.Instead I’m grateful for all I have,for the good and bad things that have happened to me,because they got me here.
So happy thirtieth birthday to me,can’t wait to see what the next phase of my life has to offer!
……………………………my two cents………………………………………
Sometimes it feels like no matter how hard I try am falling short,whether its at being a mum,a wife,a daughter,a sister or even at work.But falling short based on whose standards,mine?And if so should I then cut myself some slack or maintain them so that I’m always working towards being a better me.
If its not by my standards then should I break my back trying to live up to other peoples expectations?When we were kids I thought my mum was super woman,now that I’m older though I realize she was doing so much and dealing with her own issues as working mother and wife.
There are these roles that are expected of both men and women either by society or just as a status quo we have come to except them.How realistic are they though?For instance,men are supposed to be the providers in their family.
In today’s world two income homes are becoming more common,how then does this affect the role of the man, if at all?I remember my dad making Sunday breakfast sometimes but that was a rare occurrence,talking from my own experience,I don’t know how I would survive if my husband didn’t help out with dinner or dishes every so often.
Does this make me any less of a wife or mother or him less of a man?I don’t think so!I love that my daughter will have numerous memories of making breakfast with her dad,doing school projects or sorting the laundry,so that mummy does not have to be up all night doing chores.
So to hell with people’s standards and expectations,I’ll go with what works for me and my family.I’ll give myself a hard time every once in a while because I’m my own worst critic but I can handle me…
…… ……………………..my two cents……………………………………..